Do you make time for your adult friendships? I don’t mean your kid’s, friend’s parents or keeping up with the Alumnus Association. Do you actively make time for yourself to make new friends and seek out novel social experiences? Introvert or Extrovert we are all human and social creatures and adaptable.
If we rush home from work, hurry and eat our fast-food dinner, and rest in front of the television every day we will adapt. If we go to a gym and run or lift weights we will adapt. If we challenge ourselves to meet new people and make new friends we will adapt.
Want some tips to make new friends as an adult?
- Go places adults go (not bars), participate in meet-ups and volunteer activities
- Introduce yourself. Seriously, most people will walk up and start talking to each other and not even know names
- Listen and be a good friend! Ever notice how you just talk and talk about yourself and no one listens! That is because people love to speak about themselves they are getting bored waiting for their turn to talk. Instead listen. Ask questions about your new friend. Be legitimately interested in them as a person and not as a walking ear
- Give yourself permission to be bad at names. People tell me that I am amazing at names. The truth is we are all bad at names. If you want to remember peoples names you have to work at it. You have to repeat names. You have to be willing to forgive yourself and ask. “I am sorry, I forgot your name” ask
- Make others feel comfortable. You know, if you are bad at names so is your new friends. On subsequent introductions feel free to reintroduce yourself … “Sam, it’s Ennis” take the awkwardness off the table!
- Find your own rythym
Dr. Jordan Peterson speaks of friendships as an important Pillar of our lives. The more pillars we have the more stable our foundation and the more resilient we are to temporary setbacks and the more joy we have in our lives and relationships. Build your pillars!